There is no Joy

I was where you are. That is the point. Was. You can bring joy back into your life! Do you want to know how? Go to your mirror and introduce you to you. Date you. Court you. Woo you. Become your favorite person. (Outside of God) I did the same thing I suggested to you and you know what? I am in likeand in love wth me. Now I am free to love everything and everybody. Trust me. Joy MUST begin with you.

LOL! That's just what my therapist told me. The thing is, I DO like myself....I think very well of myself...I know I have a loving and generous heart and I know that my ex was a better person AFTER she met me than before she met me. I always try to have a nice word for almost everyone I run into. I am always doing for others....and see...for me, my "treat" the one thing I did for myself was have a relationship with the woman who is now my ex. So....now because she was so foolish I have been left alone and profoundly lonely...even though I keep myself busy and am out and about and I have joined some lesbian social groups...All those people...all that activity....It doesn't alleviate that feeling of profound...almost overwhelming loneliness because I don't have a special someone in my life...and after all the looking I have done on dating sites I am so discouraged and sad. Anyone who wants me is not someone I would want and anyone I want doesn't seem to want me. I don't know what the problem is. I am fairly cute I have a nice body and look years younger than I am. I am also very feminine and am hoping for a long term relationship that is more of a traditional family.. is any of this so wrong? I got messages back today from 3 different women....none of them were my someone special.....none were my type at all.

When you have someone leave your life, that you have been with for over 8 years, it's like dealing with a death. I know you probably will not like this answer, but you have to give yourself time to grieve. Everyone is different on how long it will take to get over someone. Try to do something nice for yourself everyday, maybe writing a journal will help too. I wish you the best of luck, and when you are ready you will move on.

I know exactly how you feel. My partner and I have separated after being together for over 7 years. She said she just didn't love me any more and hasn't for several years on the same day as a bunch of other crappy stuff happened and I was a wreck. I feel like I can't breath most days. I can't eat. And to top it all off, neither of us is financially able to move out at this point so I have to see her every day. I haven't even gotten to the point of putting on the happy face yet. Don't even want to get out of bed.

m_mcneely.... I feel for you....as much as I hate where I am at in life right now....I at least don't have to look at the one who broke my heart everyday. I also understand about the not being able to eat. That really sucks! I didn't need to lose weight either which makes it worse. I hate getting out of bed too...worst time of day for me...and sadly for some odd reason this morning as I was just on the edge of waking up I thought she was lying next to me....And then I realize I am in a different bed in a different house. I hate this so much....but it must be worse living with your ex....especially if you have hopes of getting back together. I will keep you in my thoughts....take care of yourself

I'm with moondancer it will take time to grieve. My husband completly shattered my heart 3yrs ago by saying I wasn't his soul mate or the person he most confided in. To this day we are still married but it's more like going through the motions. Once he realized he was an idiot it was too late I told him I was no longer "in love with him". I'm bi & since all of this have found myself more attracted to females to the point where I would like a girlfriend.